Leadership – You Can’t Lead Anyone You React to.

Good morning. Good afternoon, wherever you are. This is Chris. And today we’re talking about leadership and we’re talking about the aspect of leadership, which is relationship.
So many years ago I took a group of four people to the Himalayas. They are entrepreneurs. We arrived, we got up there within 24 hours of arriving.
These entrepreneurs as entrepreneurs do had inquired and asked me enough questions about the whole trip to basically know where they were going and what they were doing and when they were doing it and all the dangers ahead.
And in some ways you served my leadership. This was a threatening experience for me because I always felt good and proud and, and, and respected when people didn’t know what was happening next.
And I did. And so once they, these entrepreneurs who were obsessed pretty much with being self-determined people, once these entrepreneurs had really sucked out of me, the, the, the journey ahead and I’d got them to the Himalayas, I had no value.
I had hired a couple of helpers along to go along the way. And I’d hired a, a sharper friend of mine who had summited Mount Everest.
I think at that time only eight times to come with us. And so they knew that if there was any real trouble, they could rely on these three people.
I had no value, so they treated me more or less as an equal, but I had a lot of trouble with this, this scenario.
So if we tracked in, after a couple of days, I started to think to myself, how can I reassert myself?
Because I had no control. I realized after a little while that this scenario was just going to play out for the rest of the trip, and I was lagging behind just doing my thing.
And I guess being there just in case it was it was really confronting. And anyway, after about three days, the guys we’d arrived at a lodge that they were having their afternoon.
And one of them complained that they’d trodden in a big bunchy yet done and within an hour or so, I found myself out the back scratching yet down off the bottom of this person’s boot as a favor, because I just wanted to them delight me.
I wanted to feel good about being there. It’s a very typical scenario. It’s understandable how I ended up there. And I looked across, I was being paid 3000, roughly $3,000 a day by these guys to take them in the trip.
I had hired a couple of helpers who were being paid $12 a week, not $12 a day to be there and help me.
And they were playing cards. I was cleaning yak, poop, what I’d done. And it’s really understandable in order to reach in and be a value to somebody.
I dropped down through the valuation of myself, through their valuation of me. And if they had seen me cleaning the act poo off their boots, they would have said, Chris walkers worth $12 a day instead of 3000 and become quite grumpy about paying me what they did.
So I rearranged all this and just started walking on. And I, I tried to understand what was taking place and how to be comfortable about walking on not having a leadership role.
And it comes to what I’m going to talk about today. The difference between motivation and inspiration, because what I’d achieved with these guys on a Trek was the ability to inspire them.
And what I was missing out on as a leader was the motivation and they’re chalk and cheese motivation is when you lead from the front inspirations, when you lead from behind.
And I think it’s a really important thing to understand. So I’m going to go through it roughly now on the sketchpad and see if we can make sense of it.
The first thing to remember is that we’ve got our beautiful diagram. You know, this one really well. And to remember that you can’t lead anything or anyone you react to.
So when you react that thing that you react to is running you, if you’re attracted to it, it’s running you.
If you repelled from it, it’s running you. If someone does something you want to fix, change, modify, adjust, they’re running you.
If you’re critical judgmental, don’t like them feel annoyed by them. They’re running you. Now, leadership is truly, the statement says, self-sufficient means nobody runs you.
You run you. So when somebody starts being repelling, you or attracting you or somebody starts doing this, you’ve lost your center.
You’ve lost your court. And it’s really important to remember that therefore, that knowing yourself and understanding yourself is really important for leadership.
So when we’re motivating people and excuse me, take my eyes off the camera. When we’re motivating people, we sit up here at the top.
They sit somewhere in the hierarchy. As we’ve drawn before up here, we sit at the top, they sit somewhere in the hierarchy and we share our blessing.
From the top down, we motivate them. We go down to the level and motivate them, whatever that happens to be, we motivate them.
What we’re trying to do is get them to be in, be inspired like us. We’re trying to give, encourage those people to let’s say go in a direction where we’re motivating them.
And the way we motivate people, typically, as we dangle a carrot in front of their nose. So if they’re in a go-to place, we try to help them get to should.
And if they’re in a should do place that we get them to need to and want and desire to. So we’re trying to feed them the things that are missing in their lives so that they reach out for them.
And in reaching out, you say, if, if you want that thing I’ve got for you, I’ll give you this. If you give me that, in other words, if you do what I want, I’ll give you what you want.
And this is really cool. This is called motivation sales or whatever you want to do it. When you take it into, into the context of this diagram, I’ve drawn here and you ask yourself, well, then what’s inspiration.
Well, inspiration is where you sit a person on top of you and you work from the bottom and you say, I want you to stand on my shoulders.
I want to inspire you. Now, there’s a technique to do that. I want to make you an inspired person. And there’s a technique to doing that, which is radically different.
To motivating a person. Motivating is from the front inspiration is from behind. Now, there are people who inspire us, but our job is to step on their shoulders.
We step on the shoulders of someone who inspires us, motivating people, try to stay one step ahead of us and pull us along, both work.
There’s horses for courses. And you’ll see, in the in the page for today underneath this video, you’ll see a whole list of opportunities where to use motivation.
When to use inspiration. When to lead from the front, when to lead from behind the bigger you grow in leadership, the more people you lead and the more of yourself you get to react to.
So this continual process of growing in leadership, you have to go back, do your homework, pick up some laundry. You’re left behind, go to more leadership, go back, pick up some laundry or left behind, go up in leadership, go back, pick up some laundry.
You’re left behind some wounds or some unfinished business. You grow in this pyramid shape. You grow as nature grows. You grow, you go back and pick up some, you do some homework, you clean up your laundry, you revision and grow taller.
And this is how leaders stay inspired and stay inspiring. And look after themselves in the process. The gut tutor love to model really just reflects w what you would call him an incredible understanding of how the world works, how, how humanity is built at the top of this pyramid, there is a moment it’s called enlightenment or grace or the zone, or create a master creativity or inspiration or joy or genius.
And there is just a moment of it. Once we get to that point, we fall from grace and we try to manifest that on the real world.
So an idea comes to us. We go, wow. And then we go through the process of manifestation, which means we come back into the material realms, trying to build it or make happen while we’re building it and making it happen.
We slip into what’s called the or lower levels of fought, because we were really motivated to go and get something and have something.
Cause we can’t like perceive we haven’t got it. We go through all the emotions and then we rise back up eventually by letting go of what we’ve built into a form of maintenance or self-management or organized supervise deputies.
We let go of what we built and enable ourselves to have a higher level of inspiration, which we’re going to call leadership.
So the leader needs to find themselves as often as possible at the top of this current. And that is how you stay self self aware.
Self-conscious self-reliant, self-sufficient self dependent, whatever you’d like to call it. So how things really work? We S we start off as a leader here, as we increase the number of people we manage, it grows as we increase the number of products we have to grow again, because, because the more people, the bigger we grow in leadership, the more people we have to face, and the more people we have to face, the more elements of ourselves that could cause us to react to people we have to deal with.
So it’s this continuous evolution of self-awareness that you say, oh, that person gives me the s***s or this person I don’t like, or that person’s not doing what I told them.
And instead of going, I’m going to change the person we change ourselves. And that causes leadership. So I really believe that that or that our business or a work environment is an ashram.
It is one of the most sacred places. If you go to an ashram, what do they teach you? Self-sufficiency to love other people, no matter what, where they come from to embrace diversity, to have certainty all these things, exactly what they teach in ashram have the more perfect opportunity to be taught in a corporate environment, because you don’t choose the people you collaborate with.
You are forced to collaborate with them and you have to get something out of it. So there is a manifestation process, and you have to have a vision and you have to be clear and you need certainty and all the things that you would learn in ashram, but there’s no choice.
And so the, it is really a a magnifying glass more than an ashram is which is usually pretty passive. So the three things, the difference when we start to inspire people, when we want to inspire people, the first and most important thing is to recognize you can’t give what you haven’t got.
So you need to be inspired yourself, which is hard work. As you’ve seen already. In this day, I did a four column on the concept of certainty and uncertainty.
And if you really are, and one of the things that’s downside of certainty is that work, that it takes to stay there.
Now, one fluctuation in your certainty that gets transmitted to your team, they will never forget. So the first thing we got in, we need to recognize, we need to inspire the individual, but you can’t give what you haven’t got.
So you need to become inspired so that you can inspire others. The second part about inspire the individual you will learn in the 30 day challenge is to make sure that you have a vision that inspires you.
So that’s the thing. The second one is to balance the corporate vision or the team vision. Now many times, you’ll see a company vision written in the context of a, of a, of a, of a sentence or a byline or something that HR came up with, or some clever consultants.
But the company vision is going to be just like your vision needs to have seven areas of life. It needs to engage all seven, because there are many, many, many, many, many, many, many people watching this vision, trying to, to hook onto it, trying to have a motive for coming to work, trying to engage with the company as well as their own personal vision that they’re also looking to try and engage the team vision or the company vision.
And if this does, if this thing isn’t holistic, it’s impossible to expect to gather all of the intentions of all of the people and all of their diversity of reasons to be coming to work today.
So balancing the company, vision is a really important one. The third thing we do is step three. We align the individual, the individual circle with the company circle.
Now you’ve got an inspired individual and you can walk behind helping them through it. So how things really work at the end of the day, we can help people stand on our shoulders.
If we’re inspired. This is Chris. You have a great day. Bye for now.