Introduction
Good morning, good afternoon, wherever you are. This is Chris, and today, although we’re indoors on a rainy morning, we have a beautiful topic to discuss—feelings. Let’s dive into the intricate world of feelings and their role in mindful leadership.
Understanding Feelings in Leadership
Feelings are often a double-edged sword, especially in the realm of leadership. They can be both confusing and enlightening, guiding us in ways we may not fully understand. Mindful feelings fall within the second realm of conscious leadership, a key aspect of leading effectively.
Personal Journey: From Delinquency to Discipline
My own journey with feelings began in a tumultuous way. As a 12-year-old delinquent on the streets of Melbourne, I was involved in activities that most kids my age couldn’t imagine—breaking and entering, stealing cars, and more. Despite my rebelliousness, I had a knack for not getting caught. This period of my life was fuelled by nervous energy and a need to escape a strict home environment.
At home, my father’s rigid structure clashed with my stepmother’s erratic, alcohol-fuelled behaviour. Her unpredictable actions—like trying to burn the house down or flooding it while drunk—forced me to develop a keen intuition and a coping mechanism to manage her feelings.
The Impact of Bullying and the Escape through Sport
During this chaotic time, I also faced bullying, which made me feel inadequate and embarrassed. My love for sport became my escape, and I aspired to be a great cricket and footy player. However, as I grew, I realized that my physical limitations, like less-than-perfect eyesight, would prevent me from becoming a world-class cricketer.
Embracing Discipline through Weightlifting
Around the age of 14, after getting beaten up a few times for defending bullied classmates, I turned to weightlifting. This new focus provided structure and discipline, something I had been missing. Every night, regardless of Melbourne’s weather, I meticulously recorded my progress and followed a strict regimen. This discipline contrasted sharply with my previously chaotic lifestyle and marked a significant shift in my approach to life.
The Balance Between Feelings and Routine
This shift wasn’t gradual; it happened almost overnight. I transitioned from a feeling-driven delinquent to a disciplined athlete, dedicating myself to weightlifting and improving my physique. This newfound structure helped me navigate my final years of high school, where I applied the same meticulous planning to my studies.
The Role of Feelings in Personal Growth
Feelings, while often seen as weaknesses, can also be sources of strength. In my coaching work, I see people divided into two groups: those who live by their feelings and those who adhere strictly to schedules. Both approaches have their merits, but the key is finding a balance that works for you.
Some people let their feelings dictate their actions, saying, “I don’t feel good today,” and using that as a reason to avoid responsibilities. Others, however, live by the law of schedule, committing to tasks regardless of how they feel. This discipline can lead to significant achievements, but it’s essential to remain adaptable and considerate of others, such as partners, children, and colleagues.
Thoughts
My journey illustrates the profound impact of both feelings and discipline. As we continue this discussion, we’ll explore integrating these elements into effective leadership, creating a balanced and mindful approach. Stay tuned for the next part of this exploration
The Independence of Routine
When I was a kid, the independence of my weightlifting schedule was crucial. If someone, even my father, had interfered, I wouldn’t have maintained it. This independence underscores the importance of having a self-directed routine, especially in a family or office setting where feelings are constantly at play.
The Rise of Emotional Awareness in Men
Over the past 15 years, I’ve noticed a significant shift among men in the workplace. They are increasingly encouraged to be in touch with their feelings. While this emotional awareness is beneficial, it has also led to struggles with managing emotions. This shift highlights a broader societal trend towards valuing feelings, sometimes at the expense of discipline and routine.
The Validity of Excuses
Excuses often arise when we fail to follow through on our commitments, yet they serve a purpose. They help us maintain self-love despite our shortcomings. If we base our actions on feelings, then excuses become a way to justify our worthiness despite not meeting our goals. This perspective, though valid, can undermine the importance of discipline.
The Androgynous Approach to Leadership
The future of effective leadership lies in embracing both the emotional (feminine) and the structured (masculine) aspects of our personalities. Offices and companies are increasingly focusing on how people feel and interact. While this is a positive development, it should not exclude the necessity of deadlines and schedules. An ideal leader honours both aspects, balancing empathy with discipline.
Long-term Results Through Discipline
For sustainable success, discipline must take precedence over feelings in the long term. Feelings can guide short-term actions, but discipline ensures lasting results. In sports, for example, athletes are often guided by how they feel during training, but their success ultimately depends on consistent discipline.
The Role of Tiredness in Performance
One crucial aspect of balancing feelings and discipline is recognizing the impact of tiredness. When we’re tired, our perception of effort is distorted, both in physical and mental exertions. Coaches often use a “real feel” scale to adjust training intensity based on an athlete’s perceived effort, which accounts for tiredness.
The Importance of Recovery
Schedules and routines promote work and ensure adequate recovery. Effective scheduling includes breaks and downtime to prevent overwork and maintain high performance. A well-rested mind is essential for producing clear, precise, and efficient work.
The Clarity of Non-Tired Work
Tired work is often lengthy and convoluted, while non-tired work is clear and concise. The ability to distil information into its simplest form requires a well-rested and focused mind. As the old quote goes, “I was going to write you a short letter, but I didn’t have the time.” Clarity and brevity come from a place of mental and biological freshness.
Conclusion
Balancing feelings and discipline is essential for effective leadership. Embracing both aspects allows for a holistic approach that fosters emotional intelligence while ensuring long-term success through consistent discipline. This balance is critical in navigating the complexities of modern leadership and achieving sustainable results.
Thanks for tuning in to ‘The Anti-Guru Guru Show.’ If you enjoyed this post, share it with a friend who needs a reality check. Until next time, keep it real, keep it messy, and keep practising. See you soon!