Episode 73. The greater the void the greater the value. This episode brought to you by universal laws of nature number five. Everything is hierarchical from the one to the many.
what is a void? A void is something missing. The debate might be when was the first time you found something missing? Science has proven that this experience takes place within the womb. So it’s probably a little before you can remember. But certainly in the first three years of life there are sensory awareness. It would appear that there is very little difference between the child’s experience of life and the parent. In particular the mother. If she is frightened or insecure that fear transmits to the child. The child would feel insecure, unprotected, unsafe, even if that insecurity of the mother has absolutely nothing to do with anything environmental. She may be worried her about her own quality of parenting, but emotions don’t carry with them the label of cause. Emotions are emotions no matter whether they are a reaction to a TV show or real life. The body doesn’t know any different. Nor did the child.
And so it is thought that somewhere between the last three months in the womb and the first three years of life voids are created. In the east, it is thought that wind in the face of a baby that’s under 12 months old is going to cause amazing emotional and physiological damage to the child. We know that kids, and big kids called adults, have different emotional and mental states on days that are very windy and they’ve been outside in that wind. It makes people ungrounded and spin out. And so, it’s highly likely that there is some truth in that idea of keeping a baby out of the wind for the first 12 months. It might appear that this wind on a baby’s face might cause them to feel some emotion and create a fairly predictable void.
the study of values and voids is it quite interesting one. Voids are often passed from parent to child in this first three years of life. If a mother is worried about the sexual security of her own life in other words she has been assaulted at some point in time, she will definitely not be worrying about this for her child in the first three years of her life but that worry seems to transmit. Fears and gilts are the easiest thing to pass on. But in security can be transmitted by the father as well. Although the mothers chemicals are most likely to be the transmission mechanism in the first 12 months, the emotional energy of a space can be transmitted by others as well. Of course the most influential are the parents. But grandparents can also transmit.
there is a very interesting study been done on the word evidentiary. So if I were to wake up tomorrow morning and say I really fear losing my foot. As I stepped out of bed I would become aware of anything that made my foot feel strange. I would then walk towards the kitchen and there might be a toy on the floor and I would see that toy as a potential reinforcement of the possibility that something could happen very soon to my foot. And then I might take a shower and see how slippery the floor of the shower is and suddenly there is another opportunity for this fear to be realised. As the day goes on, and as the week goes on, things that would have been meaningless the week before, take on a whole new light. Suddenly, my fear of losing my foot is reinforced by evidence.
but the most common experience of evidentiary reinforcement, comes in relationships. If we are in a relationship that is meant to be based on love and care, but our partner decides to reinforce what they think is a healthy judgement of us, their fears and their guilt projected, it is certainly possible for us to buy into that belief and start telling ourselves a lie. What has been clearly demonstrated in both my coaching in indigenous cultures, and in many wealthy western families, is so unbelievably real that it is sad. And that is, if we tell ourselves a lie, even for a day, evidence can start to accumulate that the lie is the truth. After just a week of evidence gathering we will take this to be truth. And suddenly, a criticism that was meant to be a loving friendly gesture of suggestion, becomes a subliminal truth. And evidence accumulates.
these evidences and lies become Memes. A meme is a thought we think without thinking. In other words subconscious. And so we can tell ourselves lies, that we are not good enough, that we are clumsy, that we are not smart, that we are weak, that we are wrong, there are so many lies we can tell ourselves for just a short period of time and based on evidentiary gathering, we begin to own and not question that self doubt. By the time a short period of experience passes we end up at a therapy session because we are dealing with gathered evidence that a lie is the truth. And here comes the rub.
the therapist tries to help us heal that lie. Instead of identifying lies, most therapists are incompetent at doing so and commercially bound not to assault our Memes and so we end up being Therapized on how to deal with the lies we have become to believe that are true. Interestingly enough we also gather friends who are of the same opinion that those lies are true who try to help us and help themselves. These are called communities and tribes.
self-sufficiency is at the heart of all the Innerwealth work. It is a core value of the work we share and it is a strong part of what I believe to be a healthy loving life. It is also a really important component of leadership because anybody who is not self-sufficient is dependent on others for their opinions and their emotional Leverich, which means they are not actually leading the following.
all of the above points to a wonderful leadership opportunity and self-sufficiency. We cannot rely on our lies and beliefs to generate self-sufficiency. So we can lie to ourselves with the lies that cause self-sufficiency and begin to believe those, gather evidentiary proof, and therefore go down the path of manifestation rather than doubtful creation. When we overcome the Memes that have been ingested and evidentiary proven that are not healthy to our self-sufficiency we become more open to the beliefs and ideas of others because those ideas and beliefs no longer impact us. It’s like giving the world freedom because we also have it ourselves.
not everybody we meet and have association with in work and life is going to have clarity on the Memes that run their day. They may have lied to themselves since three months before birth, had those Memes inserted in their subconscious and have been repeating an evidentiary gathering, ever since and for the past 40 or 50 years. It takes a fair old whack on the back of the head, some genuine suffering, some real life challenge for us to stand up and question those Memes that may not be true but we have been evidentiary proving to be true for the entirety of our life. Remember, if you tell a 10-year-old child that they are stupid because they are working on the iPad, it will take around 10 days before that is a subconscious belief. And their life will go down a path following that lie.
self-sufficiency requires that we, people who are committed to living life from their heart, and mind, examine and explore the Memes that maybe in our subconscious that are not going to produce the world around us that we wish to have. This is a high function of coaching. If we leave things to their own natural organic resources we will gravitate down to the lies we have been told since birth. This all comes with a huge responsibility.
when we realise that most of the world is run by the lies they have been told, evidence they have gathered, friends who have enabled them to maintain these lies, and counselling services that cannot confront the lies without being rejected, we are left as being people who can help. In the way we do this is to treat people as we wish them to become.
to treat people as we wish them to become requires that we treat ourselves as we wish ourselves to become and therefore the importance of affirmations and visualisations for ourselves becomes crucial. Affirmations are simply lies we tell ourselves that will take us in the direction we have chosen which is our vision and purpose. Affirmations do not have to be true. Affirmations must not however be polarised into always and never which defy the laws of nature. Affirmations are statements we say to ourselves on a daily basis and in someways these are what we often call, self talk motivators. So once we embark on the path of controlled and deliberate self talk, and once this beds in to be the new lies we tell ourselves and the new evidentiary process we embark on, we are ready to actually treat others as we wish them to become.
the first and most crucial part of this treatment of other people as we wish them to become, is to make sure our own lives are not filled with the lies of our voids. Once we have achieved this point the second step is to make sure we treat people as they wish to become. Ironically, even though people lie to themselves, build up a subconscious evidence bank of information to prove that those lies are true, the vision does not get corrupted. And so ultimately, in the confidentiality of truth, every single human being knows the vision. Every single eye is turned to the future. Sometimes that future is compressed into hours when we are stressed or desperate, but for the most part there is a distance into the future people hope will come true. What they don’t realise is that the lies they have told themselves will stop them going there.
every single void we have creates a value we have. Our single biggest void becomes our life purpose. And so we spend our lives looking for things we think are missing. That’s pretty self evident. What people seek in the arms of a partner is always what they thought was missing in the arms of their parent. But voids can also come from too much of something. For example and over zealous mother can smother a child to the point that the child develops a void of freedom from the claustrophobia of being over protected.
but we cannot live our life purpose until such time as we become self-sufficient. Now what does self-sufficient mean? It means that we become the provider of the thing that we think is missing. For example, if a person believes they are seeking to be strong in the world and self-confident, that search is on the back of weakness and insecurity. For maybe 30 or even 40 years this individual may pursue self-confidence and strength through performance in the gym or on the footy field or in business or by making money. But none of that will fill the void. The void remains a canyon as big as the Grand Canyon. It remains a void because the individual has not become self-sufficient. They may even seek out a relationship and family and build it in order to feel secure and strong. But there they arrive with children and a partner and money and success and trophies on the wall still feeling weak and insecure in a meeting. And that is because the solution to a void is never external.
there is an old saying that the achievement of one goal gives birth to 2 more. This is a fabulous awareness because what is ultimately saying, is that when we pursue the fulfilment of a void, and chase the path of our values which come from those voids, we join the path of a never-ending story. The more we achieve our values, the more values we achieve, the more we want. In all eastern teachings this is the merry-go-round that they try to stop. But they can’t. It’s part of natures plan.
but there is a technique which is not from the east or the west which puts you in control of this process. When you know the judgement you make on others you start to develop and awareness of the judgements you make on yourself. Those judgements, the accumulation of lies that have been proven true by evidence gathering, are your lies. And as you start to dig out the weeds that have accumulated in your mental garden, you get closer and closer to those voids which generated your own values. Now this does not eliminate the voice or change the values, what it does however is make you the full filler of your voids. In other words you become what is called self-sufficient, satisfied, fulfilled, happy, relaxed, loving and a brilliant leader.
the process of deeper and deeper self-sufficiency is an iterative one. It is not an overnight silver bullet, although, each time you dig a little deeper into your judgements of yourself and others, you feel the euphoria and unconditional love that drives you to be energised, vital, young and enthusiastic for life. But each time you reinforce a void by gathering more evidence, you feel tired, frustrated, angry and resentful.
can you tickle yourself? Can you do open heart surgery on yourself? And can you process your voids and judgements yourself? The discard form that I have created in the Innerwealth process, available on YouTube and online is a process that takes you a long way down the track on a daily basis or an as needed basis to process your judgements on yourself and others. But like all of these self taught and self delivered process there is a grave danger of becoming complacent and getting these things done in your head or 90% complete. And this is the danger.
there are still angry frustrated, exhausted and disappointed people walking around the world saying that they do the discard form to keep themselves evolving. But this two statements cannot go hand-in-hand. A person who is evolving will not be frustrated exhausted or angry. They will experience those states for a few seconds or so but that will be there red flag to sit down and do the discount form. And in doing this we are not alone. Instead of waiting for the world, our partner, the boss, your doctor, to inform you that a red flag has been ignored for too long and you are off track and have been so for some period of time, it is wise to be coached. It is my job to tell you if there is a red flag and give you the trigger, and help you pull that trigger, to move through whatever judgement is being revealed and help you become even more self-sufficient so you can give more to others and help treat them as they wish to become, and treat them as you wish them to become, by treating yourself as you wish to become.
that is the end of this episode. Thank you for listening.