October Fest – Episode #3 – Identity Big or Small.

TRANSCRIPT

Good morning, good afternoon. We’re up to episode two already, or episode three actually, of Octoberfest.

And we’re talking about the rules of the game. And the one thing that I think is really important to understand is that every time you have a thought, every time you have an emotion, every time you think about something you’re worried about, every time you have doubt, you are playing in the small game. And the small game is about me, me, me, me, I, my I, Who am I, what am I doing? Me, me, our, my, my.

And it’s very important to understand that. In this day and age, we’ve included spouse and children, and sometimes even parents and friends. In the definition of me, me is an identity. So let’s say Chris Walker, sitting here talking to you now is an identity. I have an identity. I’ve brushed my hair, as you can see. I’ve paid special care to have a pair of glasses that are good for the computer. I’ve clean shaven. You know, I’ve really gone to a lot of trouble. I’ve put on my down jacket because it’s minus three here in my lounge. And I’ve decorated the back. This is my identity, and I’ve consciously done this. It’s not an accident that I’m sitting here talking to you with this frame, with this tone of voice, with this smile.

This is all consciously presented because I want you to know me. I want you to know the me that I like. I want you to know that Chris, that I believe is good in the world or that can actually help you and, and support you. So I’m absolutely a hundred percent know by accident representing myself.

Now, I see people walking around with dirty shoes, for example, or second hand shirt or beauty or with makeup on too much lipstick. I see people that I think have gone the wrong direction with their brand, with their identity. But if you ask them, they are being authentic. They say, No, I just want to be real, or I just want to be me, or I just want to be the opposite to what somebody wants me to be. So there’s a lot of reactiveness in creating your identity. Who am I? What do I represent? What do I stand for?

And sometimes we stand our, in our identity for the opposite to what somebody else wants us to be. So we, we’ve actually not really created an identity. We’ve simply reacted to somebody, and that reaction can last a lifetime. So if mum was too tough or dad was too soft, or mum was, dad was too soft, or mum was too, or if an ex was, Betrayed you or, or something, we spent an entire lifetime reacting to people and this us that we present on screen, or this us that we present to others, this us that we dress up, this us that we are consciously no accident, consciously presenting to the world.

This might not be the best version of ourselves. And so this reactive self, which is basically, if you wanna call it the emotional self or the the frightened self or the belief driven self, or the educated self or the mind let’s say it’s been you’ve been you know, mind mapped or mesmerized or hypnotized or corporatized. And this self that we present can be sometimes very driven by fear of failure or fear of wealth loss or fear of being dismissed from work. And so we create a self that’s driven by fear. I understand this is the small game.

This is the self game, and we need to master that game. I understand the ne necessity to master the little game because that will determine how much money you get, how much fear you have, how much uncertainty have, how much insecurity you feel, how much collaboration you feel with your family and things. So this will determine your little bubble in this entire universe, this little bubble. But what we have to realize is this little bubble will one day pop and you won’t be here. And so to spend the whole of your life trying to deal with all these little bubbles and create an identity that’s reactive, or it’s even driven by one person’s opinion rather than the truth. It might not be the best way to get the best out of life.

Now, for anybody who’s gone down the path of maximizing their identity, what you’ll come to realize, it’s a really lonely end because you end up being your own sort of your own prison. Chris Mur said, most people spend the entirety of their lives decorating the prison cell, created by their own mind. And that prison cell is built on reaction and fear and uncertainty. It built on emotion. And so every now and again, you might get the intent to play by a different game.

I’ve spent the entirety of my working life, exploring, experimenting with, and mostly through trial and error, trying to understand the big game, not some religion, which is halfway between a little game and a big game, not some philosophy which is again, more about the little game being played. Well, I’m talking about the rules of the big game. What really is dictating what goes on in people’s lives? What really goes on that dictates the success and failure of a business in the big picture? Now, you might say, Yeah, what dictates the success and failure of business is its strategy or is its leadership? I don’t agree.

I think that’s what dictates it in the little game of what’s going on this week and what’s going on this year. But I kind of like think there’s another set of rules taking place that there’s a governance. Let me give you an example, right outside my window right now, I can look out and there’s a tree, and I think if I watered the tree and look after the tree and fertilize the tree, the tree will be happy. But these trees have been here for about 60 years, I’d say guessing from their age and size. I’ve watched them grow for the last 10, and they have a mind of their own,

The storms that have come, the weather patterns, the tree has changed it, it’s not the same tree I thought it was going to be. So when I look at it through the lens of me, me, and I, and my identity, that those trees don’t live to my expectation. They’ve got a different trajectory. And what I’m interested in is understanding that trajectory as well as my own. So I wanna understand what makes this tree do what it’s done, grow an extra branch, block out the light from my own house becomes so big that some of the branches actually fell down in a storm. When you understand this big picture, a lot of what stresses us, a lot of what worries us, a lot of what gives us anxiety, and definitely, definitely our identity becomes less important.

We start thinking, how do I, how do I embrace the rules of the bigger game so that my identity doesn’t cause me to go nuts or stress me or make me frightened or make me reactive or make me insecure or make me even operate in the small world of, gee whiz, I’m gonna live forever, which I won’t. How do I operate so that I leave a footprint on the biggest story and also do the things that I need to do morally and ethically and compliantly in the smaller story without having that become a prison, without having that become something that makes me a smaller version of myself.

Now, books have Been written about how to be a small version of you, and if you want to follow that, I recommend Deepak Chopra, Anthony Robbins. I recommend all of the books that have been How to Win Friends and Influence People, the yoga books I recommend how all the books on how to make the best version of you the small game. And you probably in the coaching, I will help you transcend that game. But I’m not going to pretend that mastering that game leads you to the place you want to be. I don’t think a, a great small version of you is really a great outcome for all the work you put in to be a great big version of you.

I think to be a big version of you, you really must understand the universal laws, the laws of nature as I’ve called them, to make them transportable and transmittable to people throughout the planet in every different culture there is on the planet. So the rules of nature or the laws of nature give us access to understanding the rules of the big game, and therefore we can become a great version of our bigger self. This is Chris. You have a beautiful day. Bye for now.

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