Today’s episode, 100 Things I wish My Dad taught Me. Episode 43. “You cannot build without destroying nor destroy without building.” Includes a Video. Bought to you by the universal law of balance.
“You cannot build without destroying nor destroy without building.” Oh, what a relief.
in order to live on purpose we can’t be traumatised by the fact there is so much work to do in the world in our particular passion field. If I got upset by the fact is that the more people I help the more people I need to help I would go nuts completely. To understand this law is to free yourself.
Let’s try to drill this down. Let’s assume there is somebody you want to help and the way you consider helping them is to help them have less discomfort, less pain, less emotion, less trauma. So you go about building them up so that they become more resilient. You go about praising them so they feel better about themselves. You are, possibly living your purpose, making the world a better place, one person at a time by building them up. You walk away from that experience putting yourself on the back saying wow look what I did, I built them up. Of course, taking credit is setting you up for failure.
The very next day somebody, someone you might even know, will probably put that person you helped back down again. It might be a colleague or somebody close to them and next thing you know they are at Ground Zero all over again. You built them up somebody push them down. But what you come to realise over a period of time is that by you building them up you actually destroyed their own capacity to build themselves up. It’s sort of like making somebody weak by making them strong. That is why the coaching process is very scientific and although people don’t fully understand what is taking place, unless a person is willing to do homework for themselves it is no use blowing smoke up their bum to try to make them feel good, because somebody else will be blowing something else up their bum if that becomes their way of dealing with life’s challenge.
ultimately while you try to build things up without excepting there will be a negative consequence to the positive thing you are doing you are attached to it with your ego and therefore you are going up and down with the tide. A great example of this is when you work with a person who is excellent at healing. Let’s say they are going to give you a massage. You say I have a really sore shoulder and they ask all questions about it and then after treating you they say how do you feel? That person has not done great healing. A real healer will say that shoulder is fixed. They don’t really give a shit how you feel. The feeling aspect of it is the commercial aspect of it, and yes, the world goes round because of commercial contract, but that is not healing. Healing is not based on the commercial contract of the world it is based on support and challenge.
sometimes to parents play good cop bad cop with a child. Between them, they are both idiots but the addition of the two parents makes for healing. Of course this also is the root of incredible emotional disruption to the child because they can’t work out what to do to be remunerated with love for who they are.
another great example that I often come across is when people say they are going to build a business. I always ask where the clients are going to come from. They say for example, a statistic that reveals how many people by IceCreams, and they want to get 10% of that mark. But somebody is already supplying the 100% market for IceCreams and so when we build a business up some other business is going to lose business. We are not just pulling Skyhooks out of the air and building something out of nothing. Somebody will lose when we win. That concept of competitive marketplace is really important when building a business because the reaction of a competitor to Oura taking 10% of their ice cream market is going to be very intense. Those people have families and children and factories and all sorts of things they need to provide for and losing 10% of their market is not going to be pretty.
other people say they are going to invent something new that is not being currently serviced. But somebody still has to pay for it and as you will know, people have budgets and so even if we do invent something, like a skyhook, that has never been made before, people have limited resources to spend and so if they buy your skyhook, they won’t be buying as much toothpaste as they used to. And now the toothpaste company will react because they want that money back. The notion of building up while destroying is a very important part of relaxation. If we don’t understand this proposition we become incredibly attached to everything we do and somewhat blind to the consequences of our positive and affirmative action in the world.
I watched a documentary about danger. This documentary started with animals and mostly in Australia where venomous spiders and snakes, added to sharks and crocodiles present and ever present danger. The documentary was sensational in presenting the evolution of those species to take their prey who were also evolving. There are spiders in Sydney which Ken kill the person in 15 minutes. But they can’t kill a bee. The venom they have developed is mainly for small insects and centipede’s and we happen to have in the human DNA a similar hormone to a centipede and therefore we die but bees don’t because they don’t have that hormone and they are not typically pray for that spider. The spider is an incredible testimony to building while destroying. The better we get at something the more it’s going to cost something it’s comfort.
this is particularly true in relationships where one person is operating in happy zone working in a job that requires technical expertise but not much emotional expertise, such as a Covid testing station, where hundreds of people are coming through each day requiring testing and the tester must become immune from the emotion of the patient. Their partner at home might be involved in negotiating business deals and working for a large corporation that requires never-ending emotional evolution. One person, like the spider is developing greater levels of toxin, call list negotiating skill, and emotional awareness, while the other is developing resilience to emotion and is therefore somewhat stuck on the evolutionary scale. While both people are building their career they are in fact destroying their relationship. Building and destroying. They are inseparable.
when we try to avoid this modelling of natures universal law we end up in what Theroux described as a life of mediocrity. We try to build our career but don’t want to destroy our health and then we start to compromise the building in order to not destroy something. We tried to be nice to somebody without destroying the old relationship we had with them. We trying to build our new career but we don’t want to destroy how we thought, or what we did to get there. But why we hang onto what we’ve got we won’t get what we want, instead we need to be thankful for what we’ve got, which is the perfect way of releasing it. Building and destroying is natures way. Nothing can come from nothing. So every time you build something you must destroy something to build it.
we build a house we destroy a forest. We build a city we destroy atmosphere. We build a car we destroy the land. We build ships we destroy the gas beneath the earth. The solution that environmentalists propose is that we don’t destroy things and therefore we don’t build things. If we could live in a world where more and more babies were paying produced, where life extension was not the primary focus of medicine, we are quality of life for the first world is insatiable, where commercial interests were subordinate to environmental interests, then we could all wear bamboo clothes, wash our bodies once a week, close all the perfume shops, get rid of high brand retail, penalise people for driving any form of car, including electric that are powered Play electricity that comes from coal fired power stations in New South Wales, and eat grass. Unfortunately for the environmentalists, especially those who would love to shut down the impact of mining to protect the three Leggett toad frog, this is probably not going to happen.
This idea of building and destroying even goes to the core of spirituality and metaphysics. If you do a draw a triangle with at the top the word spirit and at the bottom the word material, in order to build material things such as houses and money and cars and jobs and beer and parties and sex and babies, we take the thought that existed in the spiritual form, potential energy, and turn it into material or kinetic energy. We destroy spirit to create form. Even in this aspect of life creation and destruction working hand-in-hand.
is this knowledge clear in your mind, you can’t start to understand how it is possible to live on purpose and be inspired by your intention and not measure it by your ego, which wants to quantify everything you do in the form of rewards, commercial gain, compliments, praise and feedback from the audience. To be an inspired person we must get beyond the idea that we can build without destroying. That is completely central to the difference between the material life and the nonmaterial life, between results focused outcome driven, and between process focused and quality driven. In the language of the universe this is the balance between the feminine and masculine aspects of existence.
I have put a video here that I created to summarise the manifestation process and this video has absolutely nothing to do with the topic of this episode. However I wanted to distribute it, and thought today would be a good place to put it so you could watch it if you feel inclined to inspire yourself and grow through the use of a tricked up video from Chris the super movie director Spielberg Walker.
Here’s the video.
That’s it for today. End of Episode 43.