I’ve been helping people to change their lives for 35 years. My best question, after all the seminars, research, travelling, sitting in Himalayan caves and dancing with wolves in my own life is: “what would you do if you couldn’t fail.”
Why is this question so profound?
Well for a start it’s really honest. Personally, I hate small talk. Never been good at it, never really been able to listen to it. It’s probably why I don’t work for a corporate giant. I just couldn’t stand the small talk – blah blah blah – leadership, mindfulness, engagement – whatever the trend.
So, when a person decides to cut through all that rhetoric and live and work more from their heart, it’s a deliberate decision, and they don’t want t to jump from the fat to the fire and listen to more blah blah from me. And they certainly don’t want to jump from listening to blah blah from others to listening to their own. When people make that choice to step out of the mind numbing platitudes of mainstream self awareness and American motivation, they do it with a conviction inspired by something very deep.
When people step away from the deception of politics, mainstream religion and benign self help they are taking the first step in a brave journey … filtering the platitudes of Facebook and the mind numbing rhetoric of the current yoga trends – watch this video and see what I mean – they want one word to resonate in their heart and mind for the rest of their life… that word is “TRUTH.”
But it’s not as easy as it looks.
First and foremost we have an ego… all of us. The question is put “where does the ego start and finish” and “how will I ever know which is the BS of the ego and which is the Truth.” They’ve been in ego so long it’s really hard to take it off. It’s like wearing clothes all your life and someone says “get naked” but you can’t work out where your skin and your clothes are separate. They’ve grown into each other. I know that’s a disgusting thought on a physical level but it’s even more disgusting on a spiritual level.
If a person can’t work out the difference between their ego and truth, then they can’t differentiate between love and expectations, visions and fantasies, emotion and presence, attention seeking habits and real inspired action. What a horrible thought. It would mean that most relationships start in love and finish in ego, that most careers start with visions and end in the depression of unfulfilled fantasies, it would mean most children are bought up in emotionally bipolar homes instead of presence and turning up parents and, worst of all, it means that 90% of what people do is a waste of time practicing habits that do not cause the outcomes they say they would love to cause.
Is that you? I hope not.
So, you owe it to yourself to hire a tough teacher. Not another rhetoric generating, head patting life coach or personal trainer, someone who asks the right questions and won’t listen to half answers.
This is the tough part. When I ask clients I really care about to fill out a simple “what are your values form” it confronts them at a really deep level because it’s questioning whether they really are who they say they are. Down the pub or at the dinner party they might say, “oh, I really care about ….” but then, in their values form, it reveals that the dinner party was rhetoric delivered to entertain or be polite. Suddenly the truth emerges. For some it’s “yeah, I kinda knew it” but for others it’s “oh shit, holy smokes, what the …?”
The “what are your values” form is just one of fifty different exercises we engage to help partition off the ego from truth during the 30 day programme. The whole idea is to address truth so many times from so many different angles while avoiding the rhetoric of meditation with eyes shut (the root of madness) and platitudes that get delivered in mass market seminars by professionally trained speakers who model football coaches in their approach to life development. “Go out an make amends for all those people you’ve got unfinished business with” – how seriously messed up? My list would look as thick as the old yellow pages.
Instead of fixing shit, you want to cut through it. Instead of wallowing in apologies, you want to recognise the magic in it. Instead of wanting to retrospectively change you want to be inspired by your unique footprint and not be ashamed of it. But this requires a shift in thinking: no blame, no victim, no ego stories, no rhetoric, and a lifestyle that treats yourself as a whole human, rather than separate your spirituality into a room or statue worshiping practice of some sort.
So, this is why I love the question “If you couldn’t fail, what would you love to be, do and have?”
“What would I love to be, do and have if I couldn’t fail?” It’s an amazing question… it’s grounded in reality Earth/Water (HAVE) it’s inspired by vision Air/Ether (BE) and it’s a call to action – Fire (DO). By pre-empting the question with “If you couldn’t fail” the seven fears are given permission to not surface, which, ultimately lets the ego take a back seat.
People are different in nature and one of the most important differences is that their imagination shines. A vivid imagination is essential for spirituality, health, business, purpose, wealth creation, love and more…. A vivid imagination is the essence of good living. Simply because what you believe you can conceive. Belief (imagination) comes before reality.
The opposite to the Question, is a bucket list.
When we create a bucket list we create a list that we tick off and then, when done, we die. That’s no way to live. Instead, make your bucket overflow with ideas and thoughts. Write them like this:
If I couldn’t fail, over the next year I would love to be …….. , do ……. and have…..……, because …………………………..
If I couldn’t fail, over the next 5 years I would love to be …….. , do ……. and have…..……, because …………………………..
You could write up to 100 in each group…
This is a great exercise …
Then get images, pictures and place them alongside each item … creating a visual representation of what you’d love to cause…
A great exercise for anyone wanting superb mental, physical and spiritual health.