Putting spirituality into your values chain, at the top, does three major things:
- It means your inner world stays as important as your outer. Ultimately this is about health, poise, confidence and stability.
- It means that when things get hard to handle, painful or completely life shattering, you don’t. Spirituality is the ultimate weapon against having your heart ripped out of your chest by some unforeseen event. (and those exist)
- It means that you feel good. It’s hard to do good if you don’t feel good. Feeling good is not a blinder on red wine or a bank statement, nor sex until you drop, all of which are fun and satisfying, no, feeling good is an authenticity between you are what you do, it means life has meaning which in itself is health giving.
Tao de Jing says, “be as kind as a grandmother; as dignified as a king.”
“There are many planes of existence and the material one is on the surface. On this plane we may choose to live out most of our life and so a great journey takes place here. However, there is no security in the world of materials. Human security cannot be achieved through bondage or materiality. Often we become trapped in the transient consciousness of the material realm, hoping that the formality and structure of such a realm can appease hunger for spirituality we carry within. Security cannot be found like this. The material realm is the smallest drop in the great ocean of life. Absolutely nothing can keep an individual from exploring and discovering that great ocean.”
Spirituality means that we come to accept the power that each human being holds in their mind. The power of thought is greater than many of us have imagined. When people are unaware of this power, they are blind to the secrets of life. They live a life as a drunk would, dodging obstacles and stepping on things. They do not know what they are doing, either to themselves, or others.
For spirituality to be REAL, we need to get to know our mind, totally, and honestly. That process begins as we shake free of our ego, to know what’s real and what’s false. Our ego (identity and beliefs), drives us, motivates us, get’s us into and out of trouble; ego is what we defend when we feel judged or criticised. Ego is the platform from which we measure and decide about life. Ego is, for the most part constructed from our experiences, our environmental conditioning or education.
Therefore, this ego is a collection of erroneous facts that, through conditioning, or experience have been adopted as personal truth. But they are far from the real truth; they are just “our” truth. Our ego is inherited when we are born and gets passed on when we die. It is built on perception rather than fact and, because it drives emotion, is the cause of all human suffering. Consequently, if we don’t rise beyond the ego, we do not begin to feel the spiritual side of life, for which we were born.
Spirituality travels through walls where no feelings pass.
When I coach people often marvel at my intuition. It is neither something to marvel nor is it intuition. If I feel my spirituality – I feel yours. If I am past my ego nature, or at least not totally run by it, I will not be run by yours. This is it you see, that most of the world is run by its ego and therefore we respond in kind. If someone likes us we feel warmed and if someone dislikes us we feel cold. This is the ego and the ego cannot love.
Love is felt when something is wrenched from us. We often say “We don’t know what we’ve got till it’s gone.” but really, I think “we don’t know what we love till we lose it.” Underneath the ego there is love, spirituality. The ego cannot know spirituality and spirituality cannot know ego. Ego is therefore limited to attachment, control, pleasure, desire, gain and of course, their opposites. The ego cannot experience the love that sits beneath and therefore what most of us call love is very often a state of pure ego, on the surface.
If we lose something precious we feel spiritual. The ego calls it sadness or pain or sorrow or grief of PTSD, or ADD or Depression or some label but when we lose something we recognise the experience of spirituality. Therefore, when asked to do a DISCARD form, to experience loss of ego, many people feel the onset of the ego pain and suddenly lose focus. The ego can become a centurion guarding the gates of the heart. I am still shocked to see how many couples live on the surface and maybe connect, with luck, during sex for a moment of truth.
There are many people and places which attempt to fake spirituality. They try to decorate the façade of spiritual with body postures, statues, meditation and green food. It is just another ego state. Those commercial spirituality, they look great and smell great, they feel great and act great, but they lack real depth because they lack surrender. This recognition cannot pass the measure of our instinct because in our whole being there is this true knowing. People may be filled with knowledge of life, have lots of money, even wear robes and claim dominion in religious or spiritual realms but if there is no love within them, then all that knowledge and wealth is doubted.
To doubt something is to define it as false. If we doubt something it becomes questionable because it is not in its true nature. If we doubt our own integrity we are doubtful of ourselves. If we doubt someone we might even be attracted to them, but we cannot love them.
Spirituality not only impacts people but also impacts things. Thoughts that go into something multiply its effect a thousand fold. A letter or gift bought in ego, says more than all the words combined. Thoughts filling the mind while we cook are more important to the nourishment of those who eat it than the origin and source of the food itself. Organic food begins with the chef. If the chef loves cooking, then much of the beauty of the food will be felt long before the senses have a chance to interpret it. Spirituality transcends the senses.
The love and care we invest in writing a story, painting a picture or composing a song, is much more vital than the work itself. Hence, beauty or ugliness reflects how our conscious and subconscious thoughts are working within our own body. If we are plagued with inauthentic values activity, our thoughts are living with inner conflict, so our bodies will start to reveal the disharmony of this lack of spirituality, love, in our inner dialogue. Such disharmony, is the very source of disease and illness. Most of our disease simply reveals an ugliness we felt through avoiding the depth and real beauty of love within.
There are many paths to this love. I have discovered it many times through many different means. But for me, the DISCARD process was the ultimate take home. In completing a discard on one individual I completed a dive into my own spirituality, forcing my ego to let go, step aside and allow my heart to experience the love that sits beneath. But it is more than that. By shifting the mind, the experience of spirituality becomes more than a passing moment of recognition which it otherwise is, it becomes a rock, a pathway on which I’ve cleared the debris and after 30 Discards, on 30 people done over a year, my ego has become porous, it is no longer granite but more like swiss cheese.