When you put fire under a pot of water, it is not a bad fire, it becomes the source of a great cuppa tea.
Nothing in the world happens without anger. No love, no school teacher, no petrol in your car, no TV, politics, chocolate or beer. Anger is the root energy even behind love. If you quench anger you put out the fire that is vitality and joy.
But if you express anger, this is like taking fire and letting it burn the forest, houses and all in its path. It’s like taking the petrol in your car and lighting it in the tank. Your car burns but you go nowhere. Anger expressed or repressed becomes toxic to life.
Repressed anger is as toxic as expressed anger. My estimate is that 90% of people have repressed anger that’s either driving their reactions to life or eating them up inside. We must be able to detect this repressed anger because it’s like driving your car with one foot on the accelerator and the other on the brake. Here’s how to detect repressed or expressed anger:
1. A GOT TO person is an angry person (even GOT TO be peaceful, or do Yoga, or be Loving… that’s anger out of control
2. Tired … Repressed anger turns to toxin and is like a car doing burnouts. One foot on brake the other on accelerator
3. Rushing – an Anger expressed and repressed person is like a bee in a bottle, so much rush, no real result.
4. Volatile emotionally – tears or rage, reaction,, criticism, judgement
5. Alcohol and sugar addictions or dependancy… anger makes being at peace with yourself impossible.
6. Shy, insecure or socially uncomfortable… all caused by anger repressed
7. Wanting to leave the business, relationship or city because of discomfort in the way you feel
8. Appetite grows and feels insatiable or Appetite shrinks and becomes repelled from food
10. Reactive, taking self and others seriously, lost the ability to enjoy the quirky nature of life
One of the most vital functions of a coaching process is to confront and challenge you enough to uncover and get the lid off any pent up anger. The purpose of this is not to cause an eruption like Mt Vesuvius, nor turn you into a self righteous Got to person, however, without anger available, you will not be able to write your true vision and tap into the “why” behind it.
Most anger stems from events in the past. But those events are rarely more than a conversation away from being triggered by some current event. Even an argument with your partner might trigger a memory of a long buried event and bring up that anger. This is why it is so important to maintain a daily practice of chipping away at the emotional imbalances and judgements that come up. It’s also crucial to have an aerobic outlet daily, an exercise regime that makes you puff and pant for a while. Energy must circulate to grow and pent up, repressed anger is a revelation of seriously blocked energy.
Getting out in nature, touching nature, rolling around in it, walking barefoot, seeing beauty in it, smelling, feeling, hearing nature. All this is vital in gaining access to your anger, to circulating your anger so it doesn’t go toxic and eat you up inside, and finally, allowing you to tap that anger for a healthy application to the challenges and process of everyday life without wasting it by expressing it.