One of the most difficult topics to discuss with people is matter of self respect. For one person self-respect might mean taking a week off work so that they are not stressed or spending Saturday nourishing themselves with nail polish or watching the football with a beer.
The reason self-respect is so difficult to discuss is because there are many selves to respect. There is the physical self the mental self and the spiritual self for a start. But in each of those three categories there are subcategories. We might have a happy self, A sad self, work self, a relationship self and so on. This is where it all becomes a lot of hullabaloo.
But it’s incredibly important: nearly all domestic disputes, alcoholism, work stress and obesity can be triggered by poor self worth awareness. In other words if we treat ourselves, accidentally badly, we’ll get treated deliberately badly. The choice to get a grip on that is a big step.
So I would like to talk here about self-respect that is designed for the true self, Your true nature. Your true nature does not care about nurturing, Nail polish or football. Unless of course it’s nurturing others, running a business that design is different nail polish products, or plays or invests in coaching football. You see our true nature is involved in creating. We on the other hand get tangled up trying to recuperate from the emotional overload and inefficient creating.
Self-respect therefore, Varies person-to-person but in general it can be said that when you are working on your highest priorities, your highest values, you are working on your self-respect because this is where your highest level of self-worth resides. Anything you do that is lower than the top three priorities will lower yourself worse and therefore make you feel reduced in self-respect.
Take a holiday for example: if you have said that my top three priorities our building my business, creating wealth for the family, and my own personal spiritual development, then taking a holiday is in complete contradiction to your self-worth building priorities and values and yet, it may be, for your family, a really important experience. Here you are confronted with the difference between self-worth building authenticity and compliance with the values of others.
Another complex situation can occur when you have been unwell and you have developed the habit of spending significant amounts of time in recuperation. You might say on Saturday I’m going to work in the garden because it’s very therapeutic. But a therapeutic Saturday is only necessary when you are in recovery from an illness (mental or physical). So, a therapeutic Saturday will not be in alignment with your core values if you are well.
Self-respect means linking what you are doing to your highest priorities. If you do end up going on holiday then you have to ask yourself the question how does this help me fulfil my values? If you’re planning your Saturday it’s wise to ask yourself why you are doing what you doing and how this helps you fulfil your highest priorities. This is why an understanding of your personal value set is very critical for self worth and therefore well-being.
If you would love to know your values link here and enjoy the values determination process.