You’ve no doubt heard the phrase “winning at all costs” – but really? Really? Do you want to win at all costs? Do you want business success at the cost of your health? Do you want company promotion at the cost of your relationship? Do you want spiritual awakening at the cost of everything else? Do you want a relationship at the cost of your dignity?
Well, ironically, the answer to those questions – when asked in a recent survey, was yes from more than 50% of respondents. The majority of those responding in this way were male. Surprised?
Winning at all costs – costs. Understandably if you are in the last 2 minutes of extra time in the world cup soccer or in the last two strides of the 100m in the Olympics or fighting a raging lion in the jungles of Africa, or wrestling a croc, in the outback of Aussie, you could be forgiven for letting that thought sink through your calm exterior and trigger your reflexes. But some people design their life this way.
When we start to “Win at All Costs” we start a chain of events that leads to some rather unexpected outcomes. The most unexpected is “the cost.” We think that winning and cost are predictable, so we say, I’ll pay this cost x,y,z for this reward a,b,c but there’s a human idiosyncrasy at work here that can throw us off balance and that is “we don’t know the value of what we’ve got till it’s gone.”
As a business coach, I work with many clients who want to leave their employment and start up a their own business. Basically they want wealth and the self esteem that comes from saying “I am my own boss.” But if I could put them in the “cost” department of that choice and then put the wisdom of hindsight into their memory, they would really really be more careful about the risk profile of that particular venture they might be tempted with. They don’t know what they’ve got till its gone.
My motto is “love it before you leave it” – in other words, in a more down to earth language, STOP WANTING TO CHANGE WHAT YOU’VE GOT and instead, APPRECIATE IT.
People in business learn to be critical, they learn to see opportunities, they learn to see fault in business and it’s the fixing of the faults that makes their business thrive. If there’s a fault in the way the market serves the client, then finding that fault and fixing it, makes money. So, it’s incredibly understandable that fault finding, being critical of what we’ve got as business people, can become a life motto. “find fault and fix” – Never satisfied – it makes money.
The person who doesn’t appreciate what they’ve already got will lose it. That’s a universal law. It’s why desperate people lose their wealth, they don’t appreciate what they’ve got and over enthusiastically want to change it.
My experience is that opportunities don’t come to the desperate person. Opportunities come to the satisfied person. This is a big awareness. Winning at no cost is the way to win. Nothing risked – nothing lost. Opportunities come to those who don’t need them.
There was a quote “luck is the intersection of preparation and opportunity” But it’s only called luck because those who are not prepared and are too desperate never see the opportunities – so they blame the success of others on luck. It’s not luck, it’s not WANTING.
The more you appreciate what you’ve got the more relaxed you will be. The more you appreciate what you’ve got the more attractive you are. A person who wants nothing from you is very powerful.
I apply this when helping clients who have emotional neediness issues. I suggest to them that whenever they don’t get what they want in life, stop wanting it. It sounds so defeatist, and in some ways this mindset has to be tempered with a vision that’s solid, but when it comes to seeking approval, or getting a pat on the head, or acceptance or attraction, if you don’t get it, don’t want it, and your life will be a whole lot more loving.
Now, back to Winning at All Costs.
In those final seconds of the World Cup, the 100m in the Olympics, the fight with the lion or wrestle with the croc, you might be forgiven for dropping into the Win at All Costs mindset. But it’s just that mindset, Win at All Costs, – that will cost you the game. The key here is to turn up, 100% focussed and there is only one short cut to that space, and that is to appreciate what you’ve got, right here, right now.