Who we are when we are single is different to who we are in a relationship. Why is this important? Because sometimes the person we become is a person we don’t like being. Nature’s Universal law of balance means that two people will always become bookends to each other, and a single person will integrate both qualities into themselves. Here’s an example: P gets into a relationship with M. M is an emotionally vulnerable, generous and outgoing person. So was P but when we get into relationship we always go to polarity with our partner on their behaviour. The more extreme M is, emotionally, the more extreme P becomes in the opposite direction. P would become intellectual, critical (the opposite to generous) and rather self contained. P is in love with M but this new P doesn’t like himself as much as he liked his single self. Immediately, P tries to “fix” M, really, nature’s way of bringing both back to centre. Eventually because P is continually complaining to M they split up. The irony is that everything P disliked in M, he soon becomes in himself. Then, P meets someone completely new B, and, if P hasn’t learned to embrace the M in himself, B soon starts to become M. The great insight is that the more P tried to change “fix” M, the more polarised she became, and the more P went to the opposite. The whole topic is centred around basing who we are and who we love on our character, identity. It’s not really love. more it’s seeking love but going about it the completely wrong way. Nearly 100% of all relationships are based on this delusion.
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