Compartmentalise or Not

The F1 Grand Prix is an intense event for everyone concerned.

But for the celebrity driver even more so. First there are a sting of social engagements leading up to the race, sponsors demanding attendance at black tie events and then of course, endless press interviews.

When one Australian driver was interviewed about these potential distractions he simply replied, “no, it’s easy, I compartmentalise.”

To compartmentalise means to put things in boxes. Like to put a work problem aside when out on a date or a deep personal worry away while you work. This is a conventional approach that seems to work for a lot of people – at least in theory.

The driver in the F1 crashed. The person sitting opposite me at dinner last night wasn’t really all there. I don’t think compartmentalising really works as well as people think.

B’s relationship was on the rocks, they had ann8 month old baby and were arguing continually. When I asked him about it he blamed his “needy” family. I didn’t buy it.

On further exploration B’ revealed a war that was going on between himself and his boss. A hate relationship. But B was trapped, the pay was great and their domestic needs, although he had reserves, were demanding that income.

B thought he was compartmentalising. But he wasn’t. He was infecting his marriage, his babe, his health and family with toxin that oozed out of him between the lines of care.

B thought he was compartmentalising. He thought everything was disconnected. He wanted to work on his relationship but really, this hate thing at work, which he blamed 100% on the other person, was at the heart of his whole life struggle.

It took 7 days, 2 hours a day, to swing things around. B finally processed the anger, evolved himself above the situation. And guess what?

His relationship transformed overnight. His “needy” family became a loving, warm, kind and generous place to be.

The moral of this story: it’s better to process your judgements than to be under the impression that being tender in your meditation is going to overcome your anger with something or someone in the real world. Compartments just don’t work because all human hearts are intuitive, even if the other person denies what they feel from you, they know, deep down when you are not being real.

From the heart of Chris