In 1986 I was standing joyfully at the kitchen sink washing the dishes in my wonderful ﬁve bedroom beachside home in Sydney. I was nearing the end of my ﬁrst year of the two-year MBA. My wife, Judy and I had gone through some pretty rough times which had motivated me to sell the business, go back to university, dedicate my life to the family and ﬁnd a better way to live and work in the world.
It was tough going, there was a lot of personal baggage ﬂowing from the relationship. I was guilty about the past and my perceived excessive focus on work, and that combined with the usual challenge of anything academic, it was a tough year.
Not long after this, I was sitting on the beach, lamenting my circumstances. The kids were on a yacht with their mother and her new partner. I had no money, no life, no wife, no children. They set sail around the world, I had no idea where they were and I sat there with tears streaming down my face, in serious pain. I missed my kids so bad I didn’t know if I could survive without them. It felt like a piece of me had been ripped out of my soul.
Then I looked up and saw the moon. It was out at midday and that was a beautiful sight.
Then I realized it was the same moon that was shining on my kids and then I started to feel different.
I started to feel love for them instead of pain. I started to feel them close to me, around me and I knew at that moment they could feel it. I knew it in my bones and the penny dropped: this is what the Aboriginal people call spirituality. It is love.
I had never separated my expectations from my love. I had never sat down and thought, ‘I love my kids,’ I was too busy trying to prove it. I was too busy trying to inflict it and get their approval. I was too busy helping them become better people to stop and just love them.
Suddenly the gifts all came home. My grief was an illusion. Nature doesn’t destroy things she just changes their form. Nothing is missing. They were with me in spirit and love. I had manifested exactly what I wanted, the answers to the laws of life. Nature was going to be my guide. And it has been ever since.